


The 1

by 7SabSantos53



Category: Riverdale (TV 2017)
Genre: #bughead, F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-05
Updated: 2021-02-05
Packaged: 2021-03-17 15:01:53
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,040
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29227413
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/7SabSantos53/pseuds/7SabSantos53
Summary: "So yes, college would be a completely new shit for him, but he had already through a lot of shit, so he would try to say yes to that one too."Basically Jug goes to college and tries to take care of himself, simply because he deserves it and I know Riverdale writers are not going to give us that.
Relationships: Betty Cooper & Jughead Jones, Betty Cooper/Jughead Jones
Comments: 2
Kudos: 9





	The 1

**Author's Note:**

> Hey guys, how are you?  
> So, I don't watch Riverdale anymore, now I just watch the Bughead scenes on the internet and you know what I realized? It's exactly the same thing, hahaha.  
> I've been away from the fandom I think since august, because it wasn't doing me any good. But somehow this fanfic was written alone in my head and I decided to share it with you.  
> Also, I heard that Betty and Archie are going to have sex this season?? As if I needed one more reason to decide not to continue watching the show.  
> This fanfic was inspired by "The 1" by Tay, why? Because the idea came to me while I was listening to this song, and because I love the songs of this incredible woman, so why not?  
> English is not my first language, so if you see any mistakes forgive me. And if it is a very big mistake and you can let me know so I can fix it, I appreciate it. ☺️  
> There are scenes of therapy in this fanfic, but as I'm not from the area I don't know how things really happen in real life, so anything that doesn't make sense, forgive me too.  
> I also need to make it clear that for me the direction of Jughead's life in this fanfic is OOC, but that's how he wanted to be written in this fanfic, so don't judge me. (Or judge, it is your right.)  
> I think that's it, I hope you enjoy this reading. ❤️

**Jughead**

_I'm doing good, I'm on some new shit_

_Been saying yes instead of no_

Living in Riverdale it was… crazy, to say the least. So as much as coming to college was something new in his life, it couldn't be worse than his adolescence in that cruel and perverse little town. To tell the truth, he was imagining that the move would be much more frightening. If someone had asked him at the beginning of his senior year in high school what this move would have been like he would have imagined saying goodbye to his father, JB, Alice and Charles. And Betty… well, he honestly never imagined himself to be away from Betty. When it became clear that they weren't going to the same college he tried not to think about it too much, he and Betty had survived much worse and he was sure they could make it through this too. Despite this, it all ended up being much simpler, the farewells happened much earlier than he would have imagined. And Betty was no longer a part of his life. No, that was a lie. She would always be part of his life. She would always be most of his life. His whole life. He needed to start telling himself the truth: although she was always going to be the love of his life, Betty was no longer his girlfriend. 

After all the time he was alone in Riverdale, it didn't hurt as much as it did when they broke up. It still looked like something inside him had been torn apart forever, and yet it hurt less than months before. It was a minimal improvement in all the pain he had been experiencing, but he would try to stay hopeful. Maybe he was right when he told Archie that a little high school angst would be good, — _if you never bleed, you're never gonna grow_ — they said. And so, as difficult as it was, he would do what he had promised: he would leave Riverdale, Betty, Archie, his family and everything else in the background. And he would focus on IOWA first. That would be his priority. 

And to really focus, he would seek help for himself. What Alice had said about maybe JB needing a therapist was not going out of his mind. Every day that he was alone in Riverdale he found himself thinking: "And for God's sake, was she the only one? I think everyone who stays in this town for more than a day immediately needs therapy." He promised himself that he would take care of it as soon as he moved out. When he returned to Riverdale the following year, he would no longer allow himself to be affected by that damn little town. So yes, college would be a completely new shit for him, but he had already through a lot of shit, so he would try to say yes to that one too.

It was not easy to keep his promise, however much he wanted help, it was difficult to explain everything he had lived to another person. Even worse if that someone hadn't lived Riverdale. He feared that the therapist would deduce that it was all in his head and that he had definitely lost his mind. But in truth, the woman had been very understanding with him. He didn't tell her about Betty in the first three months of therapy. At least not clearly, because it was impossible to talk about Riverdale's mysteries without mentioning the one that, like him, tried so hard to solve them. After these months he finally decided to mention his ex-girlfriend. It was difficult to explain their family logic to her, but she didn't seem to care with the logic. In fact, whenever he apologized for saying something too strange, she looked at him as if to say "you have no idea what I've heard in this room, boy." It was comforting, honestly speaking. When he told her about breaking up with Betty, it was the first time he had said aloud what he had thought since she told him about the kiss with Archie:

— Sometimes I feel like there were two versions of me while I was with Betty. 

— What do you mean? 

— One part was 100% sure that she was the one. After everything we have lived together, I was sure that we would be able to face the world to be together if necessary. I loved her more than my own life. And that part of me knew that she felt the same way. That part of me was sure enough of that to suggest that she pretended to be dating someone she'd already liked before, because I knew it wouldn't affect our relationship at all. 

— But now when you referred to your feelings for her you said 'I loved'. In the past. 

He hadn't realized he had done this. Before he knew it he snapped angrily:

— Well, then clearly my heart and my mouth don't work together, because what I feel for her is not in the past. 

— Tell me about your other version that you said existed while you were with her.

— This version that was sure we would be together forever was the biggest part of me. But there was a very small piece that I continued to keep silent. A version that was frozen in my 15 years, when I was sure that the boy she really liked would realize what he was missing. And then he would look for her. And I would lose her. Don't think I didn't trust her, there were only very few times that this version managed to speak louder and make me doubt. But for 99% of the time of our relationship I kept this version silent, because I trusted her with my own life. In fact, if we only consider 'trust' outside a loving relationship context, I STILL trust her with my own life. What I mean is that there was a part of me that still thought I was going to lose her because of those old feelings of hers, and I only found that out when we broke up.

— Why you say that? 

— Because when she told me that she had kissed this friend of ours, while most of me screamed in pain, that little part came up whispering to me 'are you really surprised?' 

— Is that why you broke up with her? 

— I broke up with her because I love her too much to be with her when I can't really be with her, you know? Like, I can't trust that miles away she won't be interested in someone else, because even while she lived with me she did it. I can no longer see the two of us well with each other. I mean, I can, but in those images she never betrayed me, so it doesn't count. I want to be with her, but I can't be good for her because I'm too hurt for that. And angry, I think. 

— Okay, tell me about the other boy, you said that both you and Betty were friends with him.

_But we were something, don't you think so? [...]_

_And if my wishes came true_

_It would've been you._

She never questioned his reaction when he told her the whole story. They spent several sections talking about his too close relationship with Betty, Archie and Veronica. And again and again they came back to this subjec. He hadn't realized how many things in his life had been shaped by that closeness until he realized how often Betty, Archie and Veronica's name came up in conversations about his life. But it was good to have talked about all that, because a month before the date the four had agreed to meet in Riverdale it was the first time he could think of them without pain. It would be nice to see them again. Although they had spent the last year without contact, he loved them. He would try to talk to Veronica more this time, they always let their friendship come down to 'my best friend's boyfriend/girlfriend', but now he would try to change that. Maybe they could be real friends. It would be difficult to face Archie after spending the entire year missing Betty because of a decision that Archie and Betty made together, but he would try hard because he missed his friend too. And about Betty... Well, facing Betty would be even more difficult. He missed her so much that it hurt. It was as if a part of him had been ripped off. He was looking forward to seeing her again, he knew that a day together would not be enough for them to reconstruct their whole story. And honestly, it wasn't even what he wanted. But he had never even tried to date anyone else all year long because a stupid, dreamy part of him still wanted it to be with her. Only her. And he needed to see her for that. He needed to know that she still loved him, so he would know that they would find their way back each other someday. He didn't really want to be harboring that hope, but it was inevitable. He and Betty had had something bigger than just another teen relationship that didn't survive college, he was sure of that. He didn't fantasize enough to think that all people's wishes were fulfilled, but if he could choose only one wish from him to be true, it would be the moment when he wished Betty to be his right one forever.

_I thought I saw you [...], I didn't though [...]_

_I had this dream you're doing cool shit_

_Having adventures on your own_

He should have considered the possibility that none of them would appear. He even considered the possibility of Archie not showing up. After all, as far as he knew Archie was in the army. But he thought at least Betty and Veronica would be there. In the early hours he tried to convince himself that they would still come, but when Pop suggested putting coffee for him again he had to admit that none of them would come. He had one last hope when a blonde girl entered Pop's and for a moment was terrified to think that this was Betty with someone else. But honestly, he would have no right to be upset. Perhaps everyone was right: no one keeps promises made in high school. High school friendships don't last. High school relationships don't last. He wanted to believe that a very plausible reason made all three of them not show up, but a rational part of him knew that they probably just didn't want to go. Maybe they had all moved on already. They were probably experiencing new adventures, and he also needed to forget what he lived in Riverdale and do the same. And he wouldn't be able to do that if he believed that he could maintain proximity to people who were now part of his past. 

_I guess you never know, never know_

_And it's another day waking up alone_

He mentioned that it was difficult to him to put the idea of dating apart from the ideia 'Betty'. He himself was starting to think he was stupid, it had been almost a year and a half since he and Betty broke up. His therapist did not agree. She usually didn't give obvious answers, she always let him decide what to do, but that day she was straightforward:

— You need to stop seeing yourself as stupid just for having loved or for having a broken heart. It happens every day, all over the world, if you are stupid for it, then everyone is. When we leave a relationship that has lasted as many years as yours, it is normal to have difficulty starting over with someone else. 

— It is supposed to be difficult, but should it take more than a year? 

— People have different times, Jughead. Some get over it in weeks, others need years. If you keep comparing yourself with other people you will always think you are late, but compare yourself with yourself. When you broke up with Betty, could you even imagine contemplating dating other people?

— No. 

— Exactly. And you don't necessarily have to go out with other people, moving on doesn't mean you need to be with someone else. There is nothing wrong with being alone, do not look for someone just to not be alone. But if you really want to date other people, which only you can decide or not do, you don't have to hurry to do it. Take your time. 

— I love Betty, and I always will. But I also think that if I don't try, I will never achieve the least amount of happiness with someone else simply because I refuse to try. I need to accept that Betty and I will not be together anymore, and try to find happiness in a relationship anyway. Even though a part of me will always love her. 

— If that's what you want to do, try it. Start small. Understand that you were right when you said you need to accept that you will not be unfaithful to Betty if you go out with other people. But are you being unfaithful to your feelings? Don't be with someone just to try to lessen your pain caused by someone else. 

— So as long as I love Betty, should I continue alone?

— I didn't say that, I can't make decisions for you. What I said was: don't be with someone else just to prove that you can. Do you want to be with someone else? Do it, it will be difficult in the beginning because you never thought you would do it. But if you don't want to be with anyone else, don't do it just to say that you've managed to leave your past behind. It doesn't matter if a relationship is casual or serious, you cannot be with someone for any reason other than wanting to be with them. 

_If one thing had been different_

_Would everything be different today?_

Sometimes he wondered what Betty was doing with her life. Not only her, he also thought of Veronica and Archie. And Toni, Cheryl, Kevin, Sweet Pea, Fangs. Sometimes he gave the privilege of his thoughts even to Reggie. It was happening less often now, but still he sometimes found himself wondering about them. And about Riverdale too, after Alice and his dad broke up, he didn't have anyone else to connect him to the town, so he just found out what was going on there over the internet. It was still scary, but he tried not to want to solve the mysteries over there, Riverdale had caused him a lot of pain, so let the town take care of itself now. Contrary to how he acted with the town, he never looked for his old friends on the internet. Sometimes he missed them, it was no longer unbearable like when he went to IOWA, but he still missed them. He liked to think that like him, they had recovered from Riverdale. He would never have made it on his own, so he hoped they had sought help and were fine. He had been in college for three years and he was being amazing. For two years he followed up with the therapist every week, until he started to reduce the frequency. He had already decided that help would no longer be denied, but now his sections were monthly. He had celebrated this progress with himself and a bottle of whisky. Which was fun, but doing a test the next day with a hangover was pretty complicated, so he started celebrating his little victories with just food. Whenever he thought of Betty, he hoped she was happy, he knew better than anyone that she deserved after everything she had been through. He hoped she had found someone. It would hurt to know that this had really happened, but he had also moved on, so he couldn't demand that she be frozen in time for him. And honestly, he didn't even want her to suffer like that. There was a part of him that also hoped that deep down she still loved him, just as he still loved her and always would. But he hoped she could have been happy without him anyway. In the end he was wrong when he told her that they were not their parents. Clearly they were. They were just like their parents: completely in love with each other, so in love that they couldn't even make it last. Sometimes he allowed himself to think about how things would be if they were still together. He thought they would be happy. Dying to miss each other so much, but happy. He liked to think that they would have made it through the distance. Maybe that was a lie, but since they weren't together, he didn't need to find out. Maybe one day they would see each other again, and he could find out what it would be like to see Betty again after so many years. He hopes that if one day they see each other again, they will both be happy, so they could at least once pretend to be normal. If like him she is already with someone else, maybe they realized that they made the right decision. For a long time he was longing for these things with a pain in his heart, but no more. A part of him would always believe that he and Betty could have worked if they had tried harder, but that didn't stop him from being happy. And Jughead was happy with every detail of his life: college, writing, new girlfriend and even family. But just to himself he sometimes smiled thinking that it would have been fun if Betty had been the one.

_And it would've been sweet_

_If it could've been me_

_In my defense, I have none_

_For digging up the grave another time_

_But it would've been fun_

_If you would've been the one_

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for taking some of your time to read this, let me know if you liked it. I hope you are all well and take care of yourself. ❤️


End file.
